9 posts tagged “women”

"You have never done that with anybody but me. That is a gross misrepresentation of our marriage."
    - A husband on last night's repeat of Wife Swap after he's discovered that his wife was demonstrating body shotsk     while on her swap.

Look. I am not here to judge (speaking of gross misrepresentations...), but if you're like, 45 years old and you and your wife are regularly doing shots, let alone body shots, I would say that yelling at her for such behavior on national television is a little out of line.

Additionally, the angry husband made his "new wife", a conservative former Military captain or something, do 1) "promotional modeling" outside of a bike store and 2) clean the house with weights on her ankles in an outfit that could only be purchased at Fredrick's of Hollywood or the like.

Did anyone else watch this episode last night? Did anyone else want to fly to whatever state those people lived in, rescue poor Glory and then take her to your house, clean her up and give her a good meal?

Kendall and I made a video tonight. We're editing our own cuts of it. Kendall's starting a Tumblr, which should be updated pretty soon. Add her to your dashboard.

This morning I woke up drunk and ate an orange in bed. Then I started getting really sick and proceeded to vomit for about four hours, on and off.

I'm chill now, don't worry. Wagandstuff gets the cutest look on his face when I barf. He's all "HEY MOM! DON'T THROW THAT GOOD STUFF IN THE TOILET! I'LL EAT IT!"

I went to Vera's for a birthday lunch. She made a TON of food, all really healthy and delicious because that's how she rolls. It was me in a room of about 8 other women for upwards of four hours. That happens... never. It's not that I don't like women, which is something I may have mistakenly said in the past when I didn't have the right words for it. I've come to realize it's not that I dislike other women, it's that I am bad at them. Bad at them the way I was at jumping the hurdles in gym class-- I would run toward it, but as soon as I'd get there, I would completely fall apart. I was afraid of tripping on it and falling. I'm not leading up to some sort of metaphor, I'm just sharing. I guess maybe there could be a metaphor there, because it really is more of a fear than anything. I just feel like I have to play my cards right all the time with other women... don't seem neurotic, look good, keep interested and alert during conversation... so like, pretty much don't be me. That's a lot of pressure. It's bullshit insecurity and I'm writing about it on the internet. How self-indulgent! This is ice cream for narcissists, this blogging stuff!

But yeah, lunch was great. I really enjoyed everyone there. It makes sense that Vera has excellent taste in people. I got her a Chia Pet and some stickers shaped like fish.

I wanted to go to UCB tonight, but I had to pass because I needed to go home and start getting my life together. My weekends have been seeming SO much longer with the increase of my work schedule-- hours and minutes have started meaning much more, yet I still feel totally unproductive during that two day span every week. I should totally work on that.

I want to see this movie:

But the real anomaly was the time we spent with our clothes on, smoking a joint in the darkened room and trading the intimate details of our lives a thin wall away from regular city street noise. Our time together felt sort of glam and scummy in an old New York way, which we both appreciated, as we did kitsch unearthed at flea markets and thrift stores, outsider culture, losers and weirdoes. It has been my experience that there truly, really are only two kinds of people in this world: those who take pleasure in the bizarre and those who don’t. Like me, R. was a freak lover. It was this aspect of his personality, I think, that let him see me for more than just a hooker. Sex workers, like carnies, junkies, transvestites, swingers, punks, and perverts…well, we were his people. I could tell that his respect for me was genuine, no matter what I did for a living.

I've been a reader of CollegeCallGirl for a minute, and I love what she wrote today.

Men, WAKE UP!! Women are only good for sex. Nothing else!

Reply to: pers-462116945@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-28, 10:53AM PDT

Many men have woken up to the fact that to let a woman become part of your life in any way shape or form other than in your bed is suicide. As the saying goes "If women didnt have pussys there'd be a bounty out on them."

They cant be trusted, they are golddigging liars, perpetually disatisfied regardless of how well they have it, materialistic as all hell and will trade up the moment something better comes along. Fuck em and toss em to the curb. They love being treated like that because deep down inside they feel worthless and deserving of being treated like shit. That'll also keep them running back to you for more mistreatment. Drama and never ending crisis management. Thats what you'll get from them.

Remember the movie "As Good As it gets?" Jack Nicholsons character was asked how he writes about women so well and his response was "I take a man, and then I remove reason and accountability." That about says it all.

And for Gods sake guys... STOP arguing with them. Have you EVER won an argument with a woman? They wont EVER let you win and you will drive yourself crazy trying to. If a woman says the sky is green, just nod your head, agree with her and then laugh about it with your friends about what a loon she is.

Instinctively they know that the only thing you really want from them is sex and so thats their ace card. If you are a weak and needy man then she can play you for all your worth. Wise up guys. Listen to your gut. You know I'm right.

And to all of you crazy man haters who hate what I've said but know its true, keep your big mouths shut and keep your hormone driven comments to yourself. You know that every fucking word I've said is true.

Oh.. and to all of you women out there who are looking for a man that will "make me laugh", go look in the mirror.