76 posts tagged “television”
It's true. I have learned two big things from Linda Hogan this year:
Well, Cleo, let me tell ya: I would respond very well to that. Especially now that you're out of the closet and fully embracing your own shit these days. I would be all about that, Cleo. Get that on my television as soon as possible.
Are you listening Hollywood? The people want Cleo. At least this people does.
Sundays are boring and guilt-filled days. You regret everything you've done and haven't done and you're stuck in a place where you can't really do anything because a bunch of annoying religious-types decided a long time ago that Sunday was Punishment Day and all the banks and fun stores and cool things should be shut down or unavailable. This is the day you sit on your hands and watch your life spin out of control all around you. Don't even say anything because you won't get a response... It's Sunday.
Oddly enough, I never felt that way when I was working my real-person job at Defamer because I liked feeling important and didn't mind pushing through until Monday when my routine would kick in again. It's all leftover emotional shit from childhood, like that famous 60 Minutes quote from My So-Called Life that says something about the ticking clock and how it feels like it's actually counting down your life. I always felt that way Sunday nights growing up. After Murder, She Wrote and Touched By an Angel, the two programs I looked forward to all week, the week was over for good and what you've done and not done was in the books for life. It's like the night before running a marathon that you have to run to save your life or something. Who the fuck wants to wake up and run that day?
Not this lady.
So I'm metaphorically carb-loading and putting Band-Aids on my nipples right now. When you run 26 miles in a mesh tank top, your nipples are bound to wind up bloody.
William Diamond. For real.
So basically, I'm watching her show for some reason right now and it opened with her talking about the work she's done with PETA and how the shoot she did for them was extra special because it featured her dog who recently passed away, blah blah blah. Now, I don't know about you, but I consider PETA to be somewhat of an extreme organization. I usually assume that celebrities who pose for PETA are not only vegetarians, but that they follow the organizations general standards. It's not like supporting a breast cancer foundation and smoking cigarettes or something, PETA's more hardcore than that.
So, why then, all of that considered, do you think they would show Kimora's assistant shopping for the new Simmons family pet at various breeders and pet stores? Including what I recognized to be a puppy mill-ish pet store in my very own neighborhood? How are you going to brag about how much you love animals and that you're willing to throw down for PETA and then buy a dog that it's breeders loved so much you had to fight for it to be yours? She fought to pay for a dog. In Los Angeles. Where the pet population is out of control to the point where you now legally need to have your pet neutered within 4 months of owning it unless you obtain a breeder's license.
What separated these two segments was a single commercial break. As if a reminder to watch The Soup was going to make me forget that I just watched Kimora, someone I am pretty sure wears fur and who DEFINITELY owns more leather Louis Vuitton luggage than anyone you'd ever meet, hawk for PETA on my TV three minutes earlier. I mean, I'm sure that when she was watching this in her bed after the producer sent the final cut over there wasn't even commercials. At no point did it click in her brain "Maybe we should at least fake it for TV that we got the dog at the shelter so we can send the right message to the millions of impressionable assholes watching this." That really shocks me, honestly.
So I decided to see if anyone else with a web log had picked up on this, and instead I found that this isn't even the first time she's been a blatant hypocrite. Although PETA supposedly stands by her as a spokesperson, she supposedly has used and is still using (although she is working on phasing it out) real fur in her Baby Phat clothes. That's not very PETA-y.
I can't say she's a bad person for using fur in her clothing or eating meat or where she gets her dogs, but I do think that she's doing herself and others a disservice by endorsing causes that can't publicly follow through with. Not even for an entire television episode. I thought had her shit together enough to not let that happen.
Although... I did audition for Bobby Lee's sitcom and would have liked to have gotten the part, if only because there was animated segments and I would have liked to seen a cartoon of myself. I'm pretty selfish, you guys.
After we got back from the bar I was laying on the couch, still in the Tocca dress I wore to the wedding which is generally expensive but priceless to me because it's so beautiful I could cry and my mother gave it to me... I'm laying there and being uncharacteristically short and quiet with everyone, because as "alternative" and "funky" or whatever the hell you people think I may be, I am actually a total fucking chick who gets weepy and passive aggressive when things don't go my way to the point where I feel straight-up put out. Basically I was Brenda Walsh-ing the fuck out on the couch because I was cold and miserable and uncomfortable and now officially totally bored yet wide awake at 2 AM.
Then Zach comes up to me on the couch and is all, "Did you ever see the dog saying 'I love you'?" and I was all "I don't fucking know. Suck an egg, Queerbait." or something equally mature and amiable. Then Zach pulls out his iPhone and plays me the video above, which melts my heart in to one hundred, million gazillion pieces. 'Cause, you guys? All dogs would say "I love you" if they could because you put food in their mouths all the time and let them keep snuggly with you in bed. So Zach was forgiven minus a hilarious callback Facebook wall post I left him a week later.
Normally even the thought of such a hokey concept (bringing your freakin' dog on some late night TV show that mostly people who are awake and being depressed or drunk or lonely or some triple combo are watching to show people how you trained your pug to mimic your vocal patterns?) that the masses are amazed over is enough to make me roll my eyes and want to skip it, not because I think I'm too good, but because things that are watered down for mass consumption both disappoint and terrify me. Most of the time. I really, really, really care about Beyonce. A lot.
Soooo yeah. It's cute. Watch it.
Are you guys for freakin' serious?
I never even LIKED this show and I know how awesome this is.
OK, I liked it a little bit.
[UPDATE] I would like to also strongly encourage Hulu to carry the hit 90s drama Sisters. That was a show and a half.
[UPDATE 2] Fuck it, Ryder Strong is up in this piece. This show is fucking awesome.
I think that’s why so many people feel comfortable with it, since there was no hype. It was more like stumbling upon a really interesting episode of Frasier that made you think about life. You would be alright without it in your life, but it’s pretty okay that it came in2 your sphere of consciousness.
- Carles on Night Ripper in Hipster Runnoff's story "My Relationship With Girl Talk"
Tonight I re-read this piece for the first time since it came out because it seemed fitting given this weekend's events. I actually snorted to myself when I saw "Frasier". I was like "Aw, shit! You said Frasier! What?!?"
That was pretty much my actual reaction. Things got really raw for a second there.
