molls...she wrote

thrilling conclusions

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:37:53 -0700

"I fully saw a pregnant woman's vajayjay at BLD once. She was wearing a short dress and kept putting her feet up on her chair and it was like AAAAH!" - Alexis Hyde.

Sometimes nature is fucking gross.

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this is the dream i had last night

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:20:55 -0700

My mom and I have to sleep in a room on a double bed that is next to another double bed in some room I've never been in before. When I check into this particular dream, my mom and I are already laying next to each other in bed and about to fall asleep. That's when I realize that in the next bed my ex boyfriend and his friend who happens to be gay are trying to fall asleep, too. It was awkward, but for some reason we either didn't want to or couldn't leave and get our own room or find different beds that were not near these guys.

So, I spend the night in that room and when I wake up (dream within a dream!) my ex boyfriend is giving his friend a handjob. So I look at him and say "[Redacted]! What the fuck are you doing?!?" I'm not upset because it turns out that my ex-boyfriend was probably jacking off his friend the whole time we were seeing each other, but because my poor mother is sleeping next to me and about three feet away from them.

At this point the friends crawls out of bed and runs to the bathroom. I'm left alone with my ex who I'm kind of having a stare down with. He has this genuine look of hurt on his face and he says "God, Molly. I was just doing what I had to do!" Then he stands up with the comforter wrapped around him like a cocoon and starts to walk out the door. Right before he leaves he turns to me and says "Beside, we've been over for awhile."

And I'm left laying there in bed wishing that I could explain that I'm more upset he was getting his friend off in the same room as my sleeping mother than I am about the implication that he was prostituting himself to his gay friend for God knows what.

I honestly have no interest in looking up the interpretation of this dream.

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rude spam

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:43:54 -0700

click twice to enlarge.

Note to spammers: I am actually pretty gullible and I would maybe fall for your clever attempts if you didn't have someone's whose Nigerian to English translator wasn't stuck on the "douchey cuntbag" setting.

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decor

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:06:03 -0700

DSC07744

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tweets

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:35:31 -0700

Picture 23

400th Twitter today... And it only took a year!

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let's play a game...

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:31:16 -0700

Guess what this person is dressed up as...

WHO AM I???

Give up???

Dina Lohan.

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share 2

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:33:40 -0700

Fundiplarge

I also bought Fun Dip last night.

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nobody@vox.com(molls) — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:24:14 -0700

My mouth hurts from eating sour candy, but I have no plans on stopping.

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complexes

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:18:15 -0700

Brian and Ed talk Relationships

Brian and Ed stayed late after improv the other day to vlog. This is what we came up with.

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if you're my friend, you may wake up to the following voicemail

nobody@vox.com(molls) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 11:59:54 -0700

"Hey Dick Nuggets. I think I left my bowl in your car, so don't park in front of a police station before you come over later today unless you have secured the piece and have properly concealed it. If you're looking for a good spot to keep it, I would suggest sticking it in all that extra room you have in your nutbag. Later, Fagforce 1."

I am an awesome friend and everyone is lucky to know me.

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