13 posts tagged “pics”
Friday night we celebrated my birthday.
These two won for Shit Shows of the Party:
Here are some highlights that weren't captured on film:
1) Some of the guests found a cute Asian girl passed out in a prom dress in the middle of the street. No one knew her, but they dragged her in the house and threw her on the couch to sleep off her situation. Apparently she was shrooming. Her friends showed up a couple hours later, and I don't know any other way to describe them except to say that they looked like they were from the future. They were both dressed to be extras in Back to the Future 2. I really don't know what else to say.
2) I am an unfortunate bitch. I know I got up in at least one person's face. I'm pretty sure there's at least one person who seriously dislikes me for it.
3) Ed tried to scrap with this comedian friend of the person who's house we were at. Ben tried to scrap with a girl who kept taking pictures of me. Z tried to scrap with a few people, I think.
4) This girl brought cupcakes. I don't think they were for everyone, but I ate one anyway. It was delicious.
5) I was hugging aggressively and brunt someone behind me with a cigarette. She kept saying it was OK, but it obviously wasn't. Hey Girl I Burnt, if you're reading this for some reason, I'll totally pay for your dry cleaning.
6) I kept calling some girl named Christine "Michelle".
7) The landlord showed up and for the rest of the night you could hear someone going "SHHHHHHHHHHH!" about every thirty seconds.
It was a seriously fun night, despite occasional weirdness on the part of me and my crazy friends.
One of these days we're going to find a place that can handle our shenanigans.
Let me start off by saying that my trip to New York/Boston to see my friends/the Shovelhead show/check out the Gawker offices was both long over due and extremely necessary. I hadn't been amongst my people in nearly a year and I hadn't left LA since July, so it was very important for me to get away and go on a booze-binge.
When I was in NYC, I stayed in Long Island City, one subway stop out of Manhattan. George and Kevin put me up at their place, where I passed out face first a fully clothed on their futon every night.
The first night I was in the city the entire Shovelhead gang met up one by one until we were all together. Then we went to a bar.
I liked being in SoHo most. Canal Street was both offensive and wonderful. I refused to shop there, but it was really interesting.
Oh! Also! I went to Bootie NY! Bootie LA, but in NY! It was awesome. A much smaller crowd, but what you could expect-- chill people, awesome music (we heard Tender Umbrella!) and great vibes. Kevin, Deborah and I went together, and while we were there we met up with Kendall and some of her high school friends who I've known for a few years now. It was great to see everyone. After we met up with Lauren from Shovelhead '04 and one of her girlfriends for another quick drink. Kevin and I went to get hot dogs after that and I demanded two pickles from the counter boy, who Kevin says I called "Pickle Man".
My boss, the scandalous Blakeley, took me out for drinks the same night as Bootie. I drank four mojitos within an hour and a half. We went back to the office to chase those down with Bud Lights while I put on eye liner, rolled a joint and grabbed my camera bag. I was easily the drunkest I managed to get the entire time that night. Blakeley came to Johnson's show and while we were walking through the E. Village, he tripped over a homeless person who he thought was a pile of trash. The homeless dude was all "HEY!" and Blakeley was all "Woah, that trash just talked" and then I was like "Dude, that was a person". And then we laughed and laughed and laughed and I went on a drunk rant about how I'm trying to avoid herpes more than anything else in my life. Don't you guys feel like if you get genital herpes, you're kind of fucked really bad? Like, if you get AIDS, I feel there's an automatic sympathy and understanding level you receive from the general population. Everyone feels pretty bad about AIDS. No one really feels all that bad for you if you get herpes, even though you probably did something on the same level as an AIDS patient to acquire it. For some reason, theres nothing worse/dirtier than genital herpes. It's not like you're gonna die... you're just banned from having carefree sex/a normal relationship forever. Maybe that's on the ignorant side, so I'll take it back and say that you've significantly increased the awkward factor by picking up herpes, and you're going to have that terrible "I have herpes" conversation any time you want to get ass for the rest of your life. Even if you don't have an outbreak, you still need to tell people. Can you imagine that being your one-night stand? I told a guy recently that if someone gave me herpes, they'd have to marry me as punishment, because there's no reason why I should have to walk around the rest of my life defending my vagina's worth.
After our marathon night we all woke up the next day to take the bus to Boston. There's a long story here about how my friends almost left me in New York by accident, but I'm not even getting into it. (George almost left me in NYC. If Kevin hadn't been in Dad mode, I'd still be in Long Island)
When I got to college, this is the first picture I took.
Video games and pot. Pretty much sums it up.
The Shovelhead show that night was amazing. I am blown away by the show that those kids were able to put together. No one missed a beat, every sketch was on point, every topic they covered was fresh. I was so fucking proud of those kiddos. Here are the pics:
If you enjoy stereotypes as much as I do, you'll love New and Improved Stereotypes. I guess it's old, but I saw it linked on dooce today and fell in lurve with the cute cartoons and silly captions. I love how the white guy is wearing a green vest. Haha! White guys! Always with the vests! I like that this cartoon also implies that white people have the ability to drink martinis underwater in regular martini glasses. I'm more interested in not having the laws of physics apply to me than being able to breathe underwater. Also, is the black guy in the bottom cartoon supposed to be an older, balding Mr. T or Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince?
I have decided that I am going to be an American Apparel model.
At bare minimum, I can do this. I'm all "Hey, Kristina! I'm not one to talk, but you know a shower wouldn't kill you. P.S. You look like you smell like patchouli!"
Anyway, I want to do this because I hear they give you free clothes. Also, I like American Apparel more than I like any store that isn't Barney's New York or the Salvation Army. I can get my bod on point in two weeks. Then it will be time to take half nude self pics and start an email campaign.
This is all a half-assed way to restock my wardrobe and live out my (up until now) secret dream of being a stripper for a night. As likely as it is that I'd never actually go through with it, I've always hoped to be driving cross country with no money and have my car break down in front of some strip club in Tennessee. I would strip for one night and one night only (much to the dismay of my adoring new fans) and earn enough during the duration of Foghat's Slow Ride to pay for both my car repairs and some snacks at the gas station.
Tennessee's shape is my most favorite of all the states. Some people like that cluster of states that's perfect squares, but I like Tennessee because it looks like a piece of driftwood I found on the beach once.
That's a dog.
Pinky swear.
Normally, pictures of cute dogs, unless their name is Wagandstuff, are as interesting to me as, say... NASCAR... but MAN! Would you look at that thing?
