2 posts tagged “nightmares”
My mom and I have to sleep in a room on a double bed that is next to another double bed in some room I've never been in before. When I check into this particular dream, my mom and I are already laying next to each other in bed and about to fall asleep. That's when I realize that in the next bed my ex boyfriend and his friend who happens to be gay are trying to fall asleep, too. It was awkward, but for some reason we either didn't want to or couldn't leave and get our own room or find different beds that were not near these guys.
So, I spend the night in that room and when I wake up (dream within a dream!) my ex boyfriend is giving his friend a handjob. So I look at him and say "[Redacted]! What the fuck are you doing?!?" I'm not upset because it turns out that my ex-boyfriend was probably jacking off his friend the whole time we were seeing each other, but because my poor mother is sleeping next to me and about three feet away from them.
At this point the friends crawls out of bed and runs to the bathroom. I'm left alone with my ex who I'm kind of having a stare down with. He has this genuine look of hurt on his face and he says "God, Molly. I was just doing what I had to do!" Then he stands up with the comforter wrapped around him like a cocoon and starts to walk out the door. Right before he leaves he turns to me and says "Beside, we've been over for awhile."
And I'm left laying there in bed wishing that I could explain that I'm more upset he was getting his friend off in the same room as my sleeping mother than I am about the implication that he was prostituting himself to his gay friend for God knows what.
I honestly have no interest in looking up the interpretation of this dream.
Last night was awesome, for the most part. By the time I got home I was really mad for a few reasons... fuming. Basically, I went to bed drunk and furious, which is a terrible combination. I had a nightmare. A really awful nightmare that has me on the verge of tears still today. I really feel like anything could push me off the edge into Crybaby City and I'm really hoping that my improv class this morning can get rid of this feeling, although I have a sense that it's only going to rub me a little more raw. Basically, I'm looking forward to today.
NOT!
(Yeah, I just wrote "NOT!". I'm bringing it back, don't be a jerk. I'm sensitive today.)
My nightmare is kind of hard to remember at this point, but this is what I know happened for sure: I was back at HBO for some reason, writing kind of the way I did at ThisJustIn, but things were A LOT MORE INTENSE and there was a big board meeting with all kinds of staff. As if it were real life, Dream Molls had literally not left the office for 30 days. I was wearing my BC hoodie and my hair was EVERYWHERE but I was really proud of what I had been able to pull together for this board of people to review. I went in to the meeting and immediately felt judged by these people for my appearance, and as the meeting went on, the kept cutting me off. Finally someone cut me off and I said really loudly, almost screaming "EXCUSE ME?! ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?!" and everyone in the room was like "GOD, MOLLY! He was finishing his sentence!" and I was all "I was finishing my sentence. Someone finally asked me what I thought about things and HE didn't even let ME finish." Then everyone in the room was all "We're going to have to take this back to New York with us", meaning the angry fit I had was going to be reported to someone of a higher authority than all of us. HBO responded not by firing me, but by having a slanderous article written about me in New York Magazine, with a headline that was something like "Molly McAleer-- HBO's Benedict Arnold"... which is just insane. I woke up shortly after that. I was asleep long enough to see how this outburst completely ruined my life and that's about it. I never saw if things got better or if I got to do a Barbara Walter's interview to clear my name. I mean, whatever. I have no idea what it means, but mentally/emotionally, I'm dying right now.
