16 posts tagged “men”
"You have never done that with anybody but me. That is a gross misrepresentation of our marriage."
- A husband on last night's repeat of Wife Swap after he's discovered that his wife was demonstrating body shotsk while on her swap.
Look. I am not here to judge (speaking of gross misrepresentations...), but if you're like, 45 years old and you and your wife are regularly doing shots, let alone body shots, I would say that yelling at her for such behavior on national television is a little out of line.
Additionally, the angry husband made his "new wife", a conservative former Military captain or something, do 1) "promotional modeling" outside of a bike store and 2) clean the house with weights on her ankles in an outfit that could only be purchased at Fredrick's of Hollywood or the like.
Did anyone else watch this episode last night? Did anyone else want to fly to whatever state those people lived in, rescue poor Glory and then take her to your house, clean her up and give her a good meal?
The older I get, the more I realize that the kind of men I am most attracted to aren't particularly cute and treat women like shit. As in, I'm into chubby or manorexic dudes that don't call the girls that they hook up with back and/or talk shit freely about their own mothers. For some reason, that's sexy to me.
I've come to the realization that this is not necessarily their problem or mine as much as it's just something I need to be aware of... as if that really makes a difference.
Anyway, I think this shows at least a small bit of maturity on my part.
You know, I don't often find myself thinking about celebrities in terms of how attractive I think they are, because their attractiveness really has nothing to do with me. Probably a mixture of reasons, but the main two are a) It's kind of the same reason why women don't usually masturbate to porn, and b) it's too unobtainable. That being said, I can rarely come up with a celebrity crush when asked to think of one and I'm not too sure on my feelings about Brad Pitt, George Clooney, et c. The typical Hollywood stable of hunks is just of no interest to me... BUT!
OMG! BUT! You guys! YOU GUYS! Did you see David Beckham last night on Jay Leno!? What a treat. Like, OK, to be fair, I've been aware of David Beckham forevs and I think he's a pretty cute guy... but this is the killer... his giggle. The way he was giggling like a British schoolboy throughout the entire Sherri Sheppard interview made my heart vomit smaller hearts and pieces of glitter that were also shaped like hearts.
I'm not saying I'm in love or whatever... but like, I'm fully aware of the range of feelings I can have about David Beckham now and it's good to know.
I know three men that cried at this week's Lost episode.
Sadder fact: One of the aforementioned crybabies watched the episode on his iPod.
1: We could go to Barney's.
2: BEANERY?
1: Yeah.
2: Yeah, and like... get finger banged.
1: I know, by a guy in an American Eagle button-down.
2: If you wanna get finger fucked in the bathroom of a bar, go to Barney's.
Trader Joe's (palms) I spilled coffee! - m4w - 34
Reply to: pers-543766511@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-18, 3:31PM PST
I was in line in front of a lovely lady and I spilled a bit of coffee
on myself. she handed me a napkin and really sweet and kind. She was
very lovely and had on a great pair of boots. Are you her? :)
------------------------------------------
The person who wrote this clearly has sexual feelings for their mother.
That is all.
So, I never realized it, but Don Rickles is kind of my boyfriend:
He was hilarious on Letterman last night. Defamer is putting up a clip later, I'll link it then.
