14 posts tagged “i am a fat ass”
One of my favorite places to go and eat in LA is Cobras and Matadors. I don't know if food snobs would agree, but I love it there. Here's the thing: I hate the Beverly Blvd location and I LOVE the one in Los Feliz. We're talking two sides of a coin. I always think the Beverly location tastes gross, the specials suck and are usually just regular menu items at the Los Feliz location and you have to bring wine if you want to drink it, I'm pretty sure. Basically, the two may as well not even be related as far as I am concerned.
The other day Alexis told me that they just opened a new location on La Brea and 6th, which is about a 2 miles from my apartment and walking distance from hers. Much closer than either of the other locations. We decided to try it out for Alexis' birthday dinner.
Honestly? Beside the company, the meal sucked. And it's not exactly McDonald's either. You're paying a reasonable amount of money on small portions of food (it's tappas) and you expect it to taste delicious, and if not delicious, slightly more edible than it was. Here's what we ordered, and I'm going in order from most delicious to least delicious:
1) The skirt steak- It was a little rare for me, but I saw the potential and I enjoyed this the most, hands down.
2) The potatoes - They were like cajun homefries. Ed and I went nuts and devoured them. I usually avoid unnecessary heavy carbs (not in a huge way, but I just feel like shit if I eat a bunch of potatoes or bread) but I couldn't stop putting them in my mouth. We also ordered the sweet potato fries, which I didn't have room to try although everyone else agreed that they were amazing, too.
3) The prawns - The prawns were buckfuckingwild looking and both Ed and I both accidentally ate their brains. Other than that, it was shrimp. It wasn't seasoned outrageously and didn't taste like it was candied or something. That's another thing. Everything tasted like it was covered in brown sugar or something. Gross.
4) The mussels - Again, the Los Feliz location does this correctly. At the La Brea location, they were one of my favorite things on the table, but they were bland except for saffron, which isn't my favorite flavor. There was definitely something missing from the dish.
5) The lentils - These are Ed's favorite. He was the only one who liked them I think, but Ed also grew up eating lentils this way because it's a traditional South American dish that his mom used to make. Here's the thing: they are awkwardly crunchy. And they taste greasy. The best part of them is the subtle pieces of ham in there. Those were the bomb. Ben said, "I get what they were trying to do here, and I like the idea of it, but something is missing"
Other random notes:
1) We didn't get water or menus until well after the party of ten who came in several minutes after us finished using the menus. They didn't have enough menus. They didn't take care of us first even though we were definitely there first.
2) There was no salmon or flatbread on the menu :(
3) You are allowed to bring your own wine and there's an $8 corkage fee, which I find to be pretty fair. Because we are classy and wanted to drink a LOT, we brought four bottles of Two Buck Chuck, all of which we drank over the course of the meal (there was five of us, and one of us drank beer the whole time.)
4) There was a handful of cute boys there. Good people watching.
Overall, I wouldn't recommend checking out this location. At all. Definitely hit up Los Feliz, though.
1) My mom left at 5 AM yesterday. It was sad. I had a lot of fun with her and I want her to come back already.
2) Linds was on Ryan Seacrest. Whenever she's on this show, I have to listen to the interview. To hear her speak... It blows my mind.
3) I am done with the first draft of my pilot. Oh, by the way? I forgot to mention, I think... I'm writing a pilot? I wrote a pilot.
4) I took this photo outside of Amoeba the other day:
5) I'm blocking people on Facebook. That's where I'm at with the internet right now. If I don't want to know you, you don't get to know about me. Unless you read this blog. Or Defamer. Or the other two blogs I keep.
6) Swinger's got new menus. I miss the old ones. Here's a new one being modeled by Alexis Hyde:
9) I am going to a hat party tonight. Everyone has to wear hats. I decided to tie a scarf around my head Tupac-style. That's a hat, kind of.
My mouth hurts from eating sour candy, but I have no plans on stopping.
These lolipops are really good:
I want cookies right now.
And red velvet cake.
And an iced coffee.
While I'm going bananas, I'd also like a bacon egg and cheese on a bagel.
Some cookie dough ice cream would be nice, too.
An hour or so later I'd be ready for an In and Out with grilled onions and extra pickles.
I'd like all of this to be served to me in bed.
I'll feed myself, though.
KTNXBAI.
This is Sean Kane:
I love him.
Sean and I were in Shovelhead together and he's one of the most hilarious and fun people I've ever met. He's also really good people. I've told him many times that I want a son just like him some day because his shit is on point.
This post is seemingly coming out of nowhere, but actually I had good reason to think of Seany today... I ate some Buffalo flavored Doritos just a moment ago and no one I know shares a greater love for both Doritos and Buffalo-flavored things than Brother Sean. No one.
Miss you, Broseph.
Last night I didn't sleep a wink because I was craving one of my mother's tuna fish sandwiches so badly. Even though I knew that there was nothing I could do about it until I go home in April, I couldn't stop thinking about sandwiches.
*Everything here is true, but felt I should clarify because I realize that what I just shared might be really difficult for some people to wrap their heads around.
I've never watched Dancing With the Stars, save for the couple episodes I've had to watch for Defamer (Marie Osmond, duh.) I have to say though, I am really excited for the cast of this season's show. Guttenberg? Presley? The Deaf Chick from the L-Word and Picket Fences? Ballin'. I'll definitely be watching this season.
Also, last night I recorded My Dad is Better Than Your Dad on a whim and I think I have a new favorite show. The first event involved the dads beating an office desk with a sledgehammer and then seeing how much wood they could put in a pile, basically. First of all, I love the imagery. Secondly, I love that a bunch of people had to sit in a room and think of events for them to play to test their strength, yet some how relate it to "dad stuff" because of the theme of the show... and that's what they came up with. What does that say about the producers of that show's childhoods? Oh yeah, just beatin' an office desk with a sledgehammer 'cause that's what dads do. Probs cause they are working a menial office job where they feel under appreciated and over-worked and then they go home and their families don't understand them either! That's so American Beauty. It's a modern depiction of a classic struggle.
I think I just drank about 1000 calories worth of Jamba Juice.
You guys! You'll never believe what just happened!
I was sitting here, watching Rachael Ray as I normally do and stuffing my face with Doritos. So like, they were ranch Doriots, right? WELL! Mixed in with the bag was ONE SINGLE NACHO CHEESE DORITO.
How did that happen?!?! Do they KNOW ME?
