14 posts tagged “facts”
Kendall and I went to the coffee shop tonight and wrote two sketches for what will ultimately be one of the best sketch shows in the history of the universe.
Just sayin'.
When I was a little girl I had a Squeeze tape. I used to listen to it all the time and I especially liked "Pulling Muscles From The Shell" and "Black Coffee In Bed". About two years ago I got a Squeeze Live CD at the Salvation Army and this became my favorite track of theirs:
Fun Fact: My step dad LOVES Squeeze and the boat he had when he married my mom was called "Tempted".
Today George and I were both watching this episode of Doogie Howser online and it lead to this conversation:
I know three men that cried at this week's Lost episode.
Sadder fact: One of the aforementioned crybabies watched the episode on his iPod.
- Long Duck Dong is one of the best characters in a movie ever.
- My list of the best Molli:
1) The Unsinkable Molly Brown
2) Molly Ringwald
3) Me
- Panda bears aren't bears! They are closely related to the raccoon family!
I just nearly crushed my dog's skull in an attempt to Crank That Soulja Boy.
If Wagandstuff died because his mother can't manage to master the moves of a dance craze, that would truly be a shame.
Where I grew up:
Where I live now:
I thought of something I've never told anyone before when I was doing my laundry tonight. This is a rare occurrence, as I have absolutely no secrets and it's kind of on purpose. There is at least one other person who knows about pretty much every detail of my life, partially because I want everyone to experience everything with me and partially because I am a complete exhibitionist, and the two mash together quite nicely (or, you know, fairly obnoxiously depending on how you feel about me,)
ANYWAY, this thing I was thinking about is this little game I play with myself. I play lots of little games with myself because I am an artist (actually because I was raised an only child and have invented bizarre ways to entertain myself forever), and they usually involve music or counting or words. Basically, what I'm getting at is this: I'm autistic.
OK, no. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But I can understand if you think I wasn't. The stuff I'm talking about is crazy person shit, I know. I'm exploring by telling you this, so just go with it.
Lemme finish, lemme finish.
So, I play this one game with my iPod when I'm walking late at night. I think it started it college when I'd walk home from Shovelhead. Basically, I do this thing where I remember the music that was playing at most important moments in my life, and I know a lot of other people do, too. Because I know that music is important to me, and I will never be able to forget the time I got a two hundred dollar speeding ticket and a moving violation while listening to "Honky Cat" by Elton John, I have tried to set the tone to these scary late night walks. Why?
Because God fucking forbid "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child is the soundtrack to my rape.
Basically, the entire time I'm walking, I'm fiddling with my iPod thinking if I'd be more cool with being stabbed to death while listening to Jay-Z or a little Credence. Maybe I'd like to die listening to Paul Simon or Crosby Stills Nash and Young. It's never allowed to be anything disposable. If I'm going to be stripped of my dignity and/or life, it's going to be to a quality jam, and that's one thing you can be certain of.
Tonight when I was walking from the laundry room to my apartment I listened to Fleetwood Mac... the only song I bother to have of theirs in my measly 4 GBs. I think that if they knew that out of all the songs the in the world that I was "willing" to get raped to at that moment was theirs, they would be touched (emotionally and completely consensually.)
I have absolutely nothing to say about Britney Spears, so instead I will comment on the second biggest piece of entertainment news this week: Kanye and Fiddy's record release stand off. I feel like before I get into that I should clarify my Britney comment by saying that I actually have quite a bit to say about Britney Spears, but most of it consists of me mashing my fists against the keyboard in fits of childlike frustration, so I will refrain.
I have thoughts on both Fiddy and Kanye that will keep me out of the record store this week. My feelings about Fiddy are pretty simple-- I'm not looking forward to his new album because I've never looked forward to any of his albums. I have images in my head of bopping along drunk to "In Da Club" at a Freshman year Mod party, but my actual interest in his musical career is non-existent.
My ex-boyfriend and I used to have words about Fiddy-- he thought that he was one of the best rappers of our time, I thought that that said more about our time than Fiddy. I feel like his music lacks staying power. When my children are torturing me by discovering hits of my youth the way I did with my mother, I am not afraid that they will come home with "Get Rich or Die Trying". He will have the long-term cultural impact of maybe- MAYBE- Tone Loc.
The issues I have with Kanye run a little bit deeper... they tend to relate to many of my issues with society... Here's this producer who managed to make something of himself despite a lack of education. That's fairly admirable... but instead of acknowledging that while things have worked out, he perhaps picked a more difficult path than necessary, he encourages American youth to say "fuck you" to the idea of higher education-- if he could become successful without it, anyone could. Interesting fact about Kanye West-- he grew up more affluent than most of the country. He grew up in a nice suburb of Chicago, he never lived in the PJs, his family never struggled. That's very different than MOST people. He was able to "get away" with what he did because he was also born into circumstances in which he wasn't going to be on the bottom no matter what. Thats not even my issue! This is America, do as you please... It's how Kanye takes the message he created and then spreads it through utter hypocrisies.
Did you know that the majority of Kanye's last tour took place on college campuses? The very institutions that he claims are the enemy? Last year he came to Boston College and I got hooked up with a free ticket to the show. I was sitting with my fellow sketch comedy team members in the bleachers of Alumni Stadium as Kanye delivered a miserable show that brought BC back about two civil rights movements. How so? Well, he pleaded for us to scream the N-word at the top of our lungs (because we were in the presence of a black! A whole black! And he wasn't gonna be mad if we were racist! WOO HOO!), which I unfortunately can't say took a whole lot of convincing for a bunch of drunken meat heads. Then, during Gold Digger, when he got to the line "...and leave your ass for a white girl" the audience erupted. I turned to my friend and asked "Did they just cheer for white girls?" Yes, yes they did.
I didn't go into the show looking for this stuff-- Kanye was huge at the time, I would say bigger than he is now, and the entire school was pumped to have him there after we'd sat through Howie Day the last two years. I had never put a whole lot of thought into my opinion on his stance. I just kinda realized that he's a big fucking phony and making millions more dollars off of the very people he's already making millions of dollars off of- college kids just like me at the time.
Honestly, I don't care who comes out on top. Record sales are all botched these days anyway... the record labels buy most of the albums, more people steal music than ever... I suggest everyone stay home and take a nap instead of buying into the hype. Nap and eat a bowl of Spaghetti-Os.
It will make you feel so much better.
