3 posts tagged “dudes”

I originally found this photo on a web site that I refuse to use this space to further promote, so I'll be a non-linking bitch and just make my point:

Does anyone else find men that look like this to be TOTALLY not sexy what so ever?

This dude is literally the male equivalent of a fake-chested, bleach blonde bimbo in terms of what people supposedly find attractive. Really, ladies? Do any of you see this dude and get turned on? 

This picture is closer to what I see gay men emulating as their ideal on Ed's man meat sites than anything close to what myself or any of my female friends would ever date. Is he ugly? Not at all. Would I ever date him? Not based off his looks. He's just the wrong kind of good-looking to get me revved up... 

I just think that it's a fucking joke when people think women will respond to "sexy men" like this. We're not guys. We're not "visual" the way they are. Chippendales? Gross. OK? Sick. A sweaty dude swinging his shirt around in the air and walking around stage like a shameless whore isn't appealing or empowering to me or most women I know. I want to say "Honey, put your shirt on. You look cold and ridiculous." It's just an embarrassment to think that any woman could be as base as to find this appealing or to think that this is "for them". This is not "for women". That Santa dude is a model who basically was paid to degrade himself for an entire sex of people who, for the most part, really don't fucking care about his muscles or his decently attractive face as much as they'd like him to come to their house and say "You look really pretty. I'll happily date you and no one else. What did you think about Slumdog Millionaire?"

Am I taking this too seriously? Probably. But between dumb novelty cards that feature bemuscled men wearing nothing but a hat on their dick, the way desires of housewives are portrayed in movies and generally spending my life being told that this is what is sexy for women... I gotta say it: This is not sexy. It's not. That dude looks like he'd have pubic lice if there was a hair on his body. And he looks unintelligent, vapid and generally uninteresting. if you were to tell me he was able to stack a degree in film or biology on top of those guns of his, that would be a different story. But you can't tell that from a photo of a cheesy looking man in a tacky costume... and that's exactly my point.

What do you guys think? Do any WOMEN out there find this attractive? And men who like men... What about you? If you saw homeboy at the Abbey, would you also assume he's been hanging out at the Gold's on Cole and Santa Monica far too long to have an intelligent bone in his body? 

Feel free to shock me, but I just have this feeling that the majority of people with vaginas wouldn't stop and look at this photo for more than a moment without rolling their eyes. 

I removed the person's name to protect them and their douchiness, but this is an actual status message of someone I "know" on Facebook. I am positive that they are not kidding. And that it makes me really uncomfortable.

OK, so Alexis already called dibs on this artist Matt Creed, who ya know... is a total fucking fox or whatever, but... I need to take a minute to address Alexis and Matt individually and as one:

Hey, Guys. You know how sometimes you break up with someone and then like, within a month or two's time you guys are totally sick of each other's faces and are kind of disgusted by the fact that you once fucked and said "I love you"?

OK, cool.

So I'm not saying I'd ever really be down for sloppy seconds or whatever, but if you guys break up and it happens to be one of those situations, maybe I can get in on the Matt Creed party. Like, Alexis, I'd never steal him from you or attempt to do so and Matt, you don't have to worry about me coming on to you when we all hang out as a group or whatever... but like, file me away in your catalog of "Babes I'd do when I broke up with my girlfriend Alexis Hyde after we tried and tried to make it work but we just wound up hating each other's faces."

That'd be cool, thanks.

And Alexis, like... whenever you want to lend me your boyfriend to come install wall-sized art and walk around with a couple of nails in his mouth using his hands and shit, that'd also be a pretty sweet compromise. And by "compromise" I mean "Can I hook up with your imaginary boyfriend sometimes?"

K, THX