3 posts tagged “drink order”

Last night on The Hills they went to my favorite martini bar on a date-- Lola's. I was aware that it was a popular place, but now it's going to be overrun with USC girls in their skank tanks. You don't even know what a Lola's martini will do to you, it's atrocious... the last thing they need to do is pack the place with 20 something LC wannabes-- or worse, Audrina wannabes. Who wants to be Audrina? Even the real Audrina would probably ask for a do-over on her sub-par personality if she had the chance.

I like Whitney because you can tell she's such a fucking snob in real life, but she still comes off the most reasonably intelligent and potentially interesting. That's my kinda girl.

Sooooo gay. Gayer than last night at O-Bar, which was surprisingly not very gay considering it's location and delicious mojito menu... which I had to skip out on because of my behavior on Friday night and Saturday morning.

Friday night I got really drunk. Freshman-year-of-college-woo-hoo-no-parents drunk. We were in West Hollywood hitting up our favorite spots-- Fiesta, The Abbey and Here. The Abbey had their attitude faces on and wouldn't let us in. Well, they would if we stood in line, but I don't like standing in line in Los Angeles because nothing here is that good. This is a fact. Write it on a 3x5 and tape it to your wall under a heading that says "Facts to Memorize". I didn't want to go to Here because it was Truckstop Friday-- a Coyote Ugly inspired lesbian night that I've attended several times. It's actually a lot of fun, but the half the chicks in attendance are um, I dunno, fleabitten? Like they were originally cast on Roseanne, and test audiences saw the show and said it was "too real" and then they brought in Laurie Metcalf? Who's still reading?

Since none of the usual places worked out we wound up going to a place called Manhunt, I think? At this point I was already properly wasted, dancing in the street and carrying on any conversation that came my way. I ordered another double cranberry vodka and headed out to the deck to finish the pack of cigarettes I had started earlier that night. The smoking deck in any LA bar is the place to be in my opinion. If you don't smoke, your job isn't stressful or cool enough. There's another fact for your wall. I met some COGs-- Cool Older Gays. That's all I want to find in the city-- fabulous men with disposable income who can worship me and be worshiped in return. I think it probably has a lot to do with my mom's friendships and the role that gay men have played in my upbringing, but that's a lot of thinking for this early in the morning.

The situation I woke up to on Saturday morning and came back to that afternoon deserves its own post, so I'll omit those details for now and cut to Saturday around 10 AM-- reporting on American Gladiator tryouts in Venice Beach. They are bringing back the old classic to NBC, and I have a feeling it's going to be more Dog Eat Dog than the original, but there were actually a reasonable amount of people there and everyone was really normal. They seemed to be serious about it, but still aware of how totally retarded the whole thing was.

I had a full weekend and it was fun, too. Right now I'm hanging out and digitizing video at my Coffee Bean. I am tempted to splurge on some sort of delicious pastry, but shouldn't because I'm trying to get my body back to where it was this time last year. I've gained some weight recently, and while most people say I could stand to gain a couple more pounds, I'm most comfortable when I look like a 12 year old boy. Don't get me wrong-- I am a secret fat ass. I eat fast food regularly, I drink like a fish, I want ice cream ALL THE TIME. Last night I destroyed two donuts. Raped them... but as a friend said recently "nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

If a waiter stopped by right now to take your order, what cocktail or drink are you having?

Well, it's noon on Friday, so drinking wouldn't be completely out of line, but I would have to keep it booze free and go for a fresh-sqeezed orange juice with tons of pulp. Then I'd take a nap. Orange juice makes me sleepy if I drink more than a little bit...