my apologies

I should start by saying that I never thought I'd be the kind of person to apologize for not posting in their blog enough ("PARDON ME, BUT I'VE LEFT THE HOUSE TO GO GET A FUCKING LIFE"), but I do feel that I have been seriously neglecting this whole blogging thing these days. It's important to me that everyone know my every move because I am a self-obsessed famewhore, so I'm going to make a better effort to update more during the day.

I have some big things going on in my life right now (all of which I am hesitant to discuss, so use your imagination based off of these two hints: 1) rubber dog nipples, 2) lavender scented bubble bath), but I've decided I will share with you the recent additions to the infamous "Awesome Things That Molly McAleer Loves List"

1) Beverly Hills 90210 -  I wouldn't be surprised if the return of this series has anything to do with my recent obsession with the original, seeing as I am the hub of the Cool Universe. I definitely loved this show as a child (Fun Fact: I learned about rape from 90210 and for many years, thought rape and sex were the exact same thing. This will probably disturb my mother more than anyone else who reads this) but since July I have been all up in it again, devouring the DVD sets like pickled moose fetuses. (Additional Fun Fact: An ex of mine called me as I was writing this and asked what I was doing. When I told him I was watching 90210, he did the whole "OK, I'm going to hang up now" bit. Classic bit. Totally classic. I love men. So. Much.)

2) Lying About a Medical Disorder to Get Your Dog Into the Supermarket - The other day I went into Ralph's to get an iced coffee, and since I was walking Wags at the time, I knew that if I wanted to get him in I'd have to hold him in my arms and act as quickly as possible to get in and out without being asked to leave or tie him up outside (to me this is like tying an 8 month old baby to a leash wrapped around a bike rack. You'd have to be insane to do this, especially if your dog is of Top Model status the way Wagandstuff is.) So, I cradle him in my arms and walk directly to the Coffee Bean section and ordered my iceroonie. Just as I was putting milk in my drink and about to leave, a manager walked up to me and asked me if Wagandstuff is a service dog. I remembered that my friend Jim told me that legally, if you say you have a service dog, no one-- a store manager, the police, ANYONE-- is allowed to ask you what your condition is. I looked him dead in the eye and said "Yes he is. I have had service dogs my entire life" and then he put up his hands as if to apologize and walked away. Hey, System? I've fucking beaten you. I've beaten you so badly that no amount of make up is going to keep your co-workers from worrying about you and your home situation. WIN: MOLLS.

this is his commercial pose

3) The Echoplex - I've been a fan of this venue for awhile, but this week I'm going to see two of my favorite new bands, The French Kicks and M83 there (if you see me at either show, please come say hi. I'll be handing out free fist pounds). Parking is easy to find, the drinks aren't too expensive, the smoking section is huge and the atmosphere is usually very friendly.  Also, it's near the Brite Spot, so you can totally have late night munchies served to you by 80 year old women who somehow manage to hustle all night long. I expect to be dead by 45 from exhaustion, so this is an extremely impressive thing for me to witness. And I love waffles. 

OK, I'm off to bed now to go dream about looking at myself in the mirror.

I LOVE YOU.