i still love him, but...

I spent most of the afternoon cleaning my apartment. I picked up every last thing from the floors, vacuumed, Swiffered, changed my sheets, sorted laundry by color and wash cycle... It took about three hours, and by the time I was done I was exhausted and in need of an Diet Coke/Marlboro Light/e-mail break. I sat down on my bed and put my feet up to rest, when out of the corner of my eye I see Wagandstuff doing a little sniffy thing all around the middle of my bedroom. I stop reading my gossip pages long enough to take a closer look at what he was doing, and right at that moment he took a massive, watery shit in the center of my lemon-fresh floor.

And that, ladies and gents, is a metaphor for my entire life.